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This could be due to various reasons like anxiety, stress, or even certain medical conditions. It's a must to have thorough communication with your partner and be as relaxed as possible during intercourse. Try out these techniques too; the start-stop method and consulting a doctor can be beneficial. 

main causes of erectile dysfunction during intercourse are the physical, psychological or lifestyle factors. It is recommended to seek the advice of a specialist in sexual health including urologists or sex therapists, so you can talk about your concerns and find out the real problem. They can offer you the right treatment plan and improve your sexual performance.

I understand your concern. If the size is causing discomfort for your wife, it is important for both of you to discuss this openly and consult a urologist for further advice. They can provide guidance and possible solutions. It is always best to visit a specialist to address such issues properly.